I’m Fat, Now BUY Me Something!!!

Viewed a nice little thread today in one of the size positive groups that I’m in about a woman named Kristy Love, a woman from Atlanta who uses her 48NN boobs — but not the way you think. Love is a “busty masseuse” who smothers and massages clients with her large breasts.


Here’s a link to the story if you’d like to read more about Ms. Love.

I’ve not had the opportunity to see Ms. Love in action, but a quick search on YouTube showed several videos.  Here’s one for you to see.

In the first article, Ms. Love claims that she makes over $1000 a day by rubbing her massives all over horny men who want to fetish on those large breasts.  A grand a day!!!  Why aren’t more women doing this????

Oh, that’s right……even most fat women don’t have 48NN bewbs.  So, she MUST be worth a thousand bucks a day, since she’s so unique, and since SO MANY men want to make a reality out of the fantasy of having her large body rub all over them, they will pay just about anything for it.

It got me to thinking about my time with the NJ Bash, and watching all of the dumb boys walking into my events with all kinds of goodies to worship the girls with….the best liquor, chocolate, perfume, clothing, technology.  You name it, all in hopes that they can buy the woman’s affection.

I personally think these men are fools, they are being gamed by some of the women who are masters of the game.  In my opinion, everyone who engages in this is wrong.  It seems icky to me, and violates everything I was taught about relationships by my parents.  Yeah, yeah….I know that prostitution is the oldest occupation, but I’ve never thought about it.  I’m a relationship guy, and I feel fortunate that all of my relationship needs have been met in the relationships I’ve been in.  Please don’t tell me that that’s not the case with everyone.  Of course I know that.  I just think that in a community where there is already so much fetishizing going on, adding to it just makes it worse, especially in terms of how articles like this affect size acceptance.

I think that people outside of size acceptance already have some notions about fat people, many of them wrong.  Let’s just think however, of what this does.  I sure as hell don’t want people to think of Kristy Love when they think about fat people or size acceptance.  I’d much rather they think of Marilyn Wann, or Ragen Chastain, or anyone who represents a group of intelligent people who can talk size acceptance, and make non believers believe.  Instead, we have another heat seeking missile who is using her size to make money.

I’ve always said we’re people first, then we’re fat people, or thin people, or smart people, or men or women or transgendered people, and we should be defined as people.  I don’t know Ms. Love at all, but after looking at a couple of her videos, it seems to me that she only wants to be known for her breasts.

Back to the BBW/FA events, and how they were affected.

I have several friends (current and former) who run paysites.  Those sites allow the payee to view their photos and videos.  They update often, since often translates to better bu$ine$$.  Guys fetishize women there as well.  One look at the “Paysite” board on websites like Dimensions will reflect that.  Just a few comments from a recent post there:

…You look beautiful with all those pounds more.

I love her and her big tank ass.

lets buckle in and soon we will celebrate the magic number 500 =) (meaning 500 lbs)

What an awesome belly you have… I have some chocolate to go with that peanut butter I could feed you.

I didn’t want to spend a lot of time looking at the comments section, but trust me, it’s more than just the action of feeding women and gaining weight.  There’s a lot of other fetishes thrown in.  While I know that as humans we have secret things that are essential to turn us on, I’m also aware of the potential harm that fetishizing fat women while in the midst of a movement to have fat people accepted as average can cause some misunderstandings for those who don’t know better.

I wrote a blog a while back called the BBW-Porn Connection, which if you haven’t read, I urge you to do.  I can only write about this from the men’s side, I don’t know what this process does, though I’ve heard that from a feminist standpoint it empowers women.  While I think that’s great, I don’t know what the greater world need is….is it empowering women, or wanting people to think more positively about fat people.

In the meantime, women seem to be pretty empowered.  Most of the website models have “Wish Lists” on Amazon, which admirers can buy the girls stuff in hopes they will get some “charm” in return.  Here’s a quick list from one of the paysite models, with pricing:

Italian Luxuries Gift Basket – FREE SHIPPING (9 pound)  $129.99
Xbox 360 250GB Holiday Value Bundle with Kinect  $409.99
Bonefish Grill MultiBrand Gift Card  $100.00
Canon EF 28mm f/1.8 USM Wide Angle Lens for Canon SLR Cameras  $449.00
Plus Size GI Jane Army Girl Cammo Military Babe Costume  $66.00 (a bargain)
All because you’re fat, and should be worshipped by laying expensive gifts at your feet while you….well, probably do nothing.  After all, who wants a pig of a man who thinks they can buy you without the substance of anything other than a bottle of Dom, some expensive perfume, and a pizza.
There are times that I think that many within out community ignore this process, because let’s face it, many of the webmodels are really great people, but I have to wonder if there’s some resentment from the woman who travels 18-20 miles a day to work and back, toiling at her job, while her fat counterpart turns on a webcam and gets money, food, and other gifts sent to them solely because they’re fat (and evidently really hot, based on comments from some of the guys).
This blog really doesn’t have any answers, but I wanted to write it simply because I don’t understand the dynamic at work here.  I’m pretty sure I’m going to receive a ton of comments from people with advice and/or suggestions, but unless they’re strictly on topic, the odds are that I’m not going to approve them.  If I do, they’ll be based on the following questions:
1.  Does Kristy Love somehow harm size acceptance, despite the blatant fetishism?  If so, why?  If not, why?
2.  If you’re a fat woman who does in fact work a regular work week, how do you feel about other women who have home based businesses where they make more money than you do?  Is there envy, or resentment, and why?
3.  In your opinion, do the paysite models advance size acceptance, or hurt it, and why?
You’ll be graded for grammar and punctuation.  Seriously, I have mixed thoughts about all of this, and could use a little guidance.
The best response may get a half hour cuddling session with Kristy (airfare not included).  NOT

2 thoughts on “I’m Fat, Now BUY Me Something!!!

  1. Phil, I’m gonna come down strongly on the NOT empowering side of the fence on this. Fetishizing fat is very dangerous ground in the first place, and sensational fetishism (which, IMO, is all this is) actively harms the entire community for a couple of reasons.

    1. She’s making herself (possibly unintentionally) into a poster child for the fat acceptance movement when she’s not representative of the group as a whole.

    2. This is strictly a for-profit venture for her. The article is marketing for her, nothing more.

    3. She very likely has had a number of clients who hold fat folks (women in particular) as the object of ridicule and not because they truly fetishize fat, and she feeds their idiotic fantasies about it.

    4. By selling her body in this way, it de-legitimizes the rest of us by teaching people that fat bodies are only to be viewed as either objects of derision or objects of a sexual fetish, worthy of a momentary fiscal transaction but not deserving of actual love and relationship.

    5. On the flip side, it makes it more difficult for someone who does loves a person with a fat body to be taken seriously, or to not be mocked as well. It may well make it more difficult for them to feel comfortable being with that fat person in public for fear of being mocked or viewed as a fetishist.

    Overall, my objection stems mostly from the fact that I think this encourages and normalizes the dehumanization of fat people, which is absolutely in contradiction of everything I know about fat acceptance.

    Granted, it’s not my business if she chooses to do something I view as degrading, but I sure as hell wish that people wouldn’t think of her as representative of all of us.

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