Why I Don’t Want To Be Called A FA – Redux

Let me apologize in advance for this particular blog not being about size acceptance.  If anyone is offended by strong language, please skip this blog.

Most of you readers know that I had taken a sabbatical from posting in forums for about 18 months, and withdrawing from BBW and fat related events during that time.  It was a cleansing time for me, and while blogging about it, I came to the realization that certain parts of the community were not attractive to me, but I implicitly tolerated those parts over the years, because I thought that a more unified community could be reached, and that it would be better to get along for the good of all of those involved.

As my sense of perspective returned, I likened those parts of the community to being a cesspool, and that for my own sanity, I would avoid, or at least limit my involvement in those areas.  Posting in some of the forums were included, even the place that used to be a personal haven for me, where I cut my teeth in learning to understand my attraction to fat women, sharing dialogue with other men who felt the same, talking with fat women, and learning what was important to THEM, and not making it just about my own personal experiences.

Every now and then however, you have to check into the cesspool just to smell how shitty is was, and how you don’t want any of that shit to rub off on you anymore.  Today was one of those days.

It actually started a couple of days ago, in a thread started by troll who mentioned that Susanne Eman (formerly known as Celestial Bombshell) has embarked on a weight loss journey, after proclaiming to the media just several months ago that she intended to become the fattest person in the world (did you hear that, Donna Simpson???).  Of course the rest of the trolls jumped on the bandwagon, with the following pearls of wisdom:

i…..i’m utterly disgusted with her right now……..

I think she’ll be back on Dr. Phil soon, they mentioned her in a promo.
She’s famous for being fat and she’s the opposite of the big woman who hides herself away. I give her props for that.
It’s her choice to be in the spotlight, and she’s kind of charismatic in her way. Talk shows love her.

I think she should rather focus on posting pics than frighten up the media…

I’ve already given my opinion on Ms. Eman and her antics.  For those of you who haven’t read my blog about it, you can find the link here:  https://thenatural54.wordpress.com/2011/09/25/fallout/.

I’ve also posted about the dangers of having people like this represent for all fat people when they make TV appearances, and what it does for size acceptance in a blog called “No One Speaks For Me”.   I made an honest attempt to respond in this thread, since I felt that the alternative view had yet to be presented.  One woman in particular took exception to my blog, though she never actually addressed the points that my blog raised.  I make it a point of avoiding people who won’t actually address points raised, since I end up having a one sided conversation.

Evidently however, this woman reacted negatively to a reactionary post made by another woman, someone I considered a friend, who reacted the way she did to the post because some of the comments made hit home with her personally.  I won’t get into the actual dialogue between them, but enter a guy named Nate Pogue

According to Mr. Pogue, he calls himself “King Of FAs”.  I have a former friend who might take issue with that, but for now, that’s what he’s calling himself.  A few people who also posted in this thread questioned his contributions to the various forums on this website, but I’m not necessarily a believer, so I decided to check and see what he’s posted on this forum in recent days.  Here is a small selection of the words of wisdom from the “King of FAs”:

“So who wants to see my penis?”

“All food is a turn-on when watching a sexy gal eat, but chocolate has a special place within my loins.”

“…holy you shit you hot ass bitch” (referring to a BBW web model’s recent photo update)

….”I tend to think with my penis but why can’t my penis acknowledge a good girl via sexual attraction?”

“Where there are eyes, there will be eyes looking at eye candy. If women prefer not to be treated like eye candy, they should stop being so damn good to look at.”

Seems obvious to me (and he openly admits it), that Mr. Pogue thinks with a different head than most of us do.  Despite his evident lack of coherent thought and understanding of what size acceptance or anything else that doesn’t stimulate his year round yule log, I attempted to reason with him in this thread, explaining to the best of my abilities why his particular thinking in this thread was erroneous.

I openly admit my mistakes.  Reasoning with him was one of them.

I won’t bore everyone with the details, since many of my readers are already in the forum, and can see for yourselves.  Anyone who isn’t can message me, and I will provide you with a link to the thread in question.  I believe in his simple mind he felt that defending someone who was defending one of his favorite webmodels was chivalrous in nature, and I insinuated to him that he might be white knighting for her.  He accused back, claiming that my comments were simply made to defend my friend who was being attacked as well.

Son, I didn’t want to go off on you in the forum, mostly because I didn’t want an infraction, or to get banned from posting there, since I feel that my thoughts still have some value there, especially to younger men coming into the fat community, looking for answers.

I will go off on you here though, just as I have with other guys claiming to be FAs, when in fact they do more damage to size acceptance and fat people in general by opening their mouths or typing on their little keyboard.  Enjoy your little 15 minutes of fame, boy.

First, let me start with the “white knighting” you’ve accused me of.  White knighters — those men who jump at the chance to defend the virtue of women at every opportunity, no matter if the defense is warranted — are beta males who hope their stirring gallantry will get them into women’s panties.  I’ve been fortunate enough to have been in some great relationships with fat women over the years, women you could only dream about, based on your comments to most of the web models.  A couple of them HAVE been webmodels.  I have no need to white knight for anyone.  I stopped that practice while you were still in your daddy’s balls.

Second, having been with webmodels over the years, let me clue you in.  They laugh at people like you in a mocking way.  You shower them with compliments in their picture threads, thinking that heaping praise on them will make them like you.  IT DOESN’T.  They want money from guys like you, they end up in relationships with mature (not in age, in responsibility and wisdom) men like me.  They even complain to guys like me when guys like you try to escalate these comments you make and try to take it to the next level.  I’ve had to sit down with little shits like you and explain the facts of life in the fat world countless times during my days running both the NJ Bash and other events I’ve attended elsewhere.  One of the reasons I stopped promoting size positive events is so that I don’t have to deal with fucking jarheads like you any more.

I’m pretty sure that your day was made, making fun of my friends, people who I’ve been close to for years, some who I am friends with on Facebook and in real life.  And while some of those friendships have waned, their coherent thoughts (as opposed to your yammering) still resonate in my life, since they harken to times when we discussed issues based on the merits of the issues themselves, rather than white knighting, or refusing to acknowledge that you might be wrong…….

No, that would be too difficult.

One of my friends said it best in her response to Mr. Pogue:

I’m sorry you feel you are losing so much in life that you have to win at something wrong so bad that you have no empathy for people this could affect.

Truth be known, I don’t feel sorry for you, I despise you, you waste of space.  If there was a way for me to return you to your mommy’s womb so she had a chance to start over again, I would take the chance, though I doubt your mom deserves that.  Your lack of thought in all you do screams to me that I would never want to be fucking identified not only as the FA you claim to be the king of, and makes me be embarrassed of my gender.

There may come a time where I again attend size positive events. I would strongly urge you to avoid me at all costs if you see me, otherwise it’s going to be really difficult for you to troll the fat women with my foot in your ass.

Go find a different sandbox to play in, motherfucker.  While I don’t care about posting there much anymore, I have friends who do, and your presence makes them want to puke, knowing there are people like you in the world.

And now Mr. Pogue, you have your 15 minutes of fame, at least to the several thousand people a week who read my blogs.  You’re not as famous as Susanne Eman, but this will have to do for now.


3 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Want To Be Called A FA – Redux

  1. So, Mr. Pogue decided he would respond to my promise of his 15 minutes of fame, and shot me the following message:

    “Dude, you call that famous? Nobody reads your lame ass blog. I was hoping you were preparing an expose for public access TV. What a let down!
    I’m laughing so hard though. I linked a bunch of my friends.”

    The nice thing about WordPress is that you can tell where people are linking yo your blogs from. It appears that you have no friends, oh KING of FAs. So, while you’re basking in knowing that I’ve made you more famous by several thousand people, you’ll return to your miserable, friendless life long after the initial read of this blog is made by my regular readers who will also get a laugh at your expense, wondering how people like you still exist.

  2. I’ll be up front about my biases towards the website in question as I’ve had some negative experiences directly with the website and indirectly. My issue with the website on a personal level is due to being ripped off my one of the models who uses the pay-site forum to advertise her dvds/website and consequently due to a few related issues having the moderators ban me while the model in question was allowed to continue to advertise her products for which I was ripped off of. Toss in the fact a number of members defended the situation including some who claimed I didn’t care about the models own personal situation despite the fact I attempted contact to reach a compromise and I’m a poor college student attempting to make ends mee.t She first denied everything ripping me off and later supposedly admitted to ripping me off to a former dimensions member. I’m banned from a place I felt welcome for raising the fact I was ripped off but she remains seemingly capable of continuing to push her product without any repercussion from those running the site.

    I’ve also given up on the forum in question due to the inability of the forum to figure out what exactly it wants to be. One part is aimed at being about fat/size acceptance which is difficult to do when the other two main sections (pay-site board & feederism/weight gain) seem to attract individuals who hinder the fat/size acceptance goal. I don’t take issue with the existence of a forum dedicated to the more sexual side but I’m just unsure if all three can co-exist with one and still function properly in pushing towards size acceptance if that remains the end goal of the website.
    You have individuals posting content meant to be about size acceptance such as pictures which are then viewed by the individuals surfing the pay-site board and assume the pictures are a continuation of the pornography and post comments which reflect that confusion. This seems to happen often on the main board even when the original post is only text based but somehow it ends up becoming a flame war due to some members forgetting that not everything on the forum is sexual in nature which takes away from the importance of the thread which was meant to be about size acceptance.

    Beyond the website in question I even wonder about the fat/size acceptance movement as a whole. Now what I hear about the movement is based on word of mouth from other individuals who I don’t know so I’m certainly not taking the information as being the absolute truth but it seems like the cause/movement as a whole is pretty weak at the moment. I’ve heard from individuals who have been involved for an extended period of time make comments about what NAAFA has done for the movement in the past but it just doesn’t seem like much has happened recently. I know you have stepped back from bbw events but I’m wondering if you can comment on if the cause/movement is doing better or worse compared to the past in your opinion.

  3. Travis, I was aware of what happened to you, as well as the flack that you received both on that forum, and on another blog page where you posted similar information. I think your complaint was legitimate, and probably more common that you know.
    Here’s the difference between BBW porn and “the rest of the world porn”, as from my experience. Back in the day, I used to own a couple of video/entertainment stores. We rented porn, and every year we went to the porno convention in Atlantic City NJ. The women who starred in these movies/videos were very nice and down to earth, had ethics, and had their company behind them telling them to be that way, since they’d be fired by that movie company if they didn’t.
    In the BBW porn industry, there’s no one telling them they have to be nice, or be honest with their customers. Having been married to a web model for a long time, I can tell you that we worked on her site together, and always made sure that her interactions with her customers were positive, and while not intimate, always friendly.
    I think that some (probably a majority, though not all), have an attitude that they’re out there to be worshipped, and that includes throwing money at them. Think about all the girls who set up these very elaborate wish lists on Amazon, and other online retailers. When a guy buys a paysite girl something from that wish list, what do they expect in return? In the eyes of many models, nothing.
    That mindset often continues into their business dealings. So, a dude sends them $100 for custom pics, and she’s busy working a few other guy$$$$, and before you know it, she gets behind on getting those custom pics done.
    Now, said dude reaches out and says “Hay, I sent you $100 for cuztom pics, and havn’t gotten nothin’……….WTF????”
    Suddenly, the webmodel gets angry, since dude has now become a pain in her ass, and now refuses to send the pics until dude acts nice. Well. if I send someone $100 for ANYTHING, and get nothing after a month of waiting, I’m not so nice, so dude’s reaction is no different that any other person, as far as I’m concerned. Now, web model goes around telling other webmodels/webmasters that dude is a nasty pain in the ass, and not to do business with them, and the guy gets a bad rap simply because the model has no business ethics. I feel your pain, Travis.
    With regard to the size acceptance movement, I have my own reservations about things. First, NAAFA is no longer relevant in my opinion. They are also not very organized. About 2 years ago, I thought I’d try to support them, sent in my membership, and heard………………..NOTHING. No membership card, no online contact. Nothing. More important, when the year was up, no one contacted me about renewing.
    Fast forward 6 months, and I was chatting with a nice woman whose sister was a big shot at NAAFA. I explained what happened (not all dissimilar to your situation), and she promised me that her sister would address my concerns and get back to me. More silence.
    That’s part of my point in previous blogs. This community is still made up of various cliques, none of which want persons from other cliques to infiltrate. There’s little unity today, in most cases, even at NAAFA.
    That’s one of the reasons that so many of the fat acceptance bloggers are uniting. I was critiqued by a few people for sitting behind a keyboard and spewing venom, when in fact my life is very hectic, though balanced. Most of the other bloggers are similar, and there’s been some strong support of each other as new blogs are written, and ideas are put forth.
    For now, there’s strength in numbers, and if you check my links page (under “edumacation”), you’ll see links to writers who make some very strong and salient points, much better than mine. I’m proud to be affiliated with them, and hope that the several thousand who now read my blogs find some value in them, and identify with my thoughts.
    Keep reading, brother. You’ll find the people whose thoughts and ideas will ring true with you.

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