Wrestling With Fatties

It’s not often that I talk about my involvement in the pro wrestling business on my blogs. As a former radio talk show host and current promoter, it’s been an important part of my life since 1997. Rarely however does my participation in size acceptance intersect with my involvement in the pro wrestling business.

Those of you who know me personally know that I am a passionate person, and the causes that I crusade for are worn on my sleeve.

Several months ago (April 2012 to be exact), I had the task of contacting a virtual “friend” on Facebook, to advise them that I was removing them from my friends because of some anti fat comments that they had made, specifically about her disdain for the fat people who ride the carts at her local Wal-Mart. She’s someone from the pro wrestling business, and while I had never had the opportunity to work with her, I wanted to tell her that the chance of that happening had gotten even slimmer thanks to her comments. Here’s part of what was sent to her:

I just removed you from my facebook page, not that you care. I am not fat, work out several times a week, but I resented the comment you made about the fat people in handicapped carts at Wal Mart.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe they got fat AFTER they became handicapped? I’m not saying that there aren’t lazy people in the world of ANY size, but you can’t assume because someone is in a cart that they’re just lazy.

People deserve respect, even the tattooed, cigarette smoking, butt crack showing fat person in the cart at the Wal Mart. Don’t like them, fine. I may not like some of them personally myself. BUT, don’t generalize about shit you know nothing about. By the way, those same people are often in the front row of the wrestling shows you perform at. Look around next time, you might learn something.

You have every right to your opinion, but I also have every right to mine.

It should have been left at that, but being as strong willed as I am, she decided to defend her comments with the following response:

Wow you are accusing me of judgmental yet have no idea why I made that comment, so let me inform you sir.

I was a fat kid, I have worked in the medical industry for years and I very aware of the difference between fat and lazy and handicapped. I made the comment due to a severely fat woman walking around the store, getting winded then going to get the last scooter that should be used for handicapped people because she was tired of toting around her lard. I see obese people in the gym everyday working on improving themselves and I not only commend, but assist them un their training, but I have no respect or patience for fat lazy people.

I respect your opinion, but as I stated you have no right to judge without knowing why the comment was made.

I posted a pretty simple response back, that I didn’t care how people ended up in that scooter, that my compassion overrides my curiousity about how they got there. More important I accused her of judging as well, especially without knowing details, and making such a hateful post. OF COURSE, when one is equally committed (even in hate), she came back with a response:

You are not listening or reading what I am saying. I know the difference between fat and lazy and handicapped. There is a difference between judging and knowing the facts. I do NOT have compassion for fat, lazy people who do NOT try to better themselves. I DO have compassion for people who try to better themselves, so they can live longer lives for not only themselves but their families. As to the fat people at wrestling, I see them every week, as they call me a fat ass and crack whore and various and assundry misnomers, and each week I give them the 800 number for Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and Gold’s Gym. I will not get into a pissing contest with you, you have your opinion, I respect that, but I stand by my comment. I am just as blunt about yard tards in the locker room, but I guess that is being judgemental as well. If you don’t want to book me that’s cool, since this is the first time I have heard anything from you before I doubt you gave too much thought to it, but thanks for the consideration.

The idea that people know the difference between fat and lazy and handicapped has always interested me, since I’m both unable and unwilling to make that distinction.  Good case in point:  I have a friend on Facebook who has MS and is overweight.  Did the weight cause the MS?  Does the weight exacerbate some of her pain and suffering?  More important, does it matter?

I refused to budge, and again indicated my commitment to size acceptance, and how it would affect my ability to hire her for any of my wrestling events, since I have a hard time handing my money over to someone whose core values conflict with mine.  This saddened me, as she is one of the most talented female wrestlers on the indy circuit.  She was quick on the trigger to respond:

“I did my research, and I am very aware of why your position works for you; however, as a former FAT person, I stand by everything I say.”

My guess is that she looked at my Facebook page (which was still public at the time), and saw my girlfriend, who is FAT, and my circle of friends outside the wrestling business, many of who are fat (and female), and made the ASSumption that I was somehow using this as a way to pick up women points.  Again, those of you who know me know that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Since I no longer have room in my life for the crazies and the delusionals, I got her off my Facebook page, and I assumed our transaction was done.

Again, I give those people too much credit, because I was wrong.

This past weekend, this wrestler showed up on a live talk show about pro wrestling, and proceeded to go into detail (not mentioning me by name, but since the wrestling business is almost incestuous at times, it would be easy to connect the dots and get to me) about our entire dialogue, and again went into a tirade about all “the lazy fat people”.

The day after the show aired, I fired off an e-mail to one of my partners in our wrestling promotion, reaffirming that I will never participate on a show that has this hater on it.  While it’s caused some tension between one of my partners, I had no intention of writing a blog about this person until today.  I’m going to keep this person anonymous, though the few readers of my blogs who are wrestling fans will know who she is (hint………she’s not fat).

Today, I read a thread in a group on Facebook that I’m involved in called “Rolls, Not Trolls” that motivated me, since I felt a need to be a bit more inspirational to my friends there.  One of my friends was struggling with several friends of hers who had both liked and commented on  an anti fat picture on Facebook.  The woman took a deep breath, sent notes to her friends explaining the wrongness, and then posted on the picture herself, again explaining the wrongness of fat hate.  She had received some negative feedback from people who decided to ride her for her position, and while she wasn’t rethinking what she did, she was struggling with the repercussions of such.

Hence this blog.

First, to the wrestler who decided to take her Wal Mart Cart Riding Anti Fat Crusade to the public, I could give you another 15 minutes of fame on my blogs (which get a crazy amount of views, since I don’t use tags, and do little to promote them), but I really don’t think you deserve it, so don’t think I’m being considerate to you.  I don’t like people who engage in hate.  You’ll go on fine without me in your life, and vice versa.  The only difference is, I’m not a hateful idiot, and while it’s great that you can speak your mind (Lord knows I do…..) I can as well.  ANY time you want to debate me on this topic, feel free to contact me, this is one match you will never win.

And to my good friend who was worried about the blowback from her posts today………don’t worry about a thing.  REAL friends aren’t hurtful, and you were very brave today to do what you did.  You have many friends and supporters, and there are some still early on in their journey who wish they could respond in that manner.  You’re an inspiration to them, and should be proud.

And for that, you’ve earned a gold medal!

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3 thoughts on “Wrestling With Fatties

  1. You may never know what you just did for me. Thank you. You moved me to tears. I am in total awe and so humbled at this. Thank you – from the bottom of my heart. ((((((((Hugs)))))))))

  2. You’re inspiring. Not all of us are as far along as others on the journey. Don’t think about what I wrote, reflect more on the effect that your efforts may have on a young person very new to all of this.
    THANK YOU!

  3. I followed this link from RNT. What a lovely post.

    In amongst all the other BS the lady wrestler came out with (and I use the term ‘lady’ loosely), one thing stood out to me: “I do NOT have compassion for fat, lazy people who do NOT try to better themselves. ” I couldn’t help but wonder, how does she feel about THIN, lazy people who do NOT try to better themselves? Presumably they’re just hunky dory.

    It’s hard sometimes standing up to this shit. Doing it, and dealing with the backlash. But it is worth it. Particularly for the people on the wrong side of these comments that buy into the hate themselves and don’t know yet that respect is even an option for them. If they can’t yet stand up and demand it for themselves, we can sometimes be the one to do it for them. One day, they will do it for someone else. And we will change the world. Slowly!

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