Concern Trolling, Tough Love, And Ignorance.

Before I get on with my blog, I’d like to pass along some quick information.

On June 1st, a member of the community, Beth Schrauger unexpectedly passed away. Beth was part of the fat community on the east coast, and attended virtually every New Jersey BBW Bash since its inception in 2007. Beth was a free spirit, and lived her life HER way. During her travels she made many friends in the community (and a couple of enemies, but don’t we all?), but was always there when someone needed her. Well some of her close friends have established a tribute site for her, and we’d like to invite other friends to post some of their remembrances of Beth in the Memory Book on her page. Here’s the link: Also, if you have any pics of Beth you’d like to share, please contact me, and I’ll send you an e-mail that you can forward them to.

It seems like there are new “research” studies coming out almost daily that are attaching obesity to various problems of the world. The latest relates obesity in children to poor mathematics skills in school. If you’d actually like to read this study, you can find it here:

I really don’t want to get into the content of this study, not so much because the conclusions of the study are ridiculous (which they are), but more because the concept of attaching 2 so non related factors is in and of itself not worth the study. It’s no different than saying kids with brown eyes are deficient in math. Worse yet, the study didn’t connect obesity with any other school subject, only math, which seems kind of stupid. What if obese kids were better in reading, or history, or civics, or any subject other than math? Oh, that isn’t important, as you were trying to make a point, right?

So my blog today isn’t about the article’s content, but about the haters that come out of the woodwork every time one of these articles get published.

Often, these trolls peck away at their keyboards, thinking that by spewing THEIR truth, fat people will somehow see that the only reason they are there is because of their concern for every fat person’s health. “Everyone knows that if you take in more calories than you burn, you’re going to get fat!” They wait for your answer, hoping for someone to back them up when the question is redirected back at them, asking if they could explain why some of their friends can sit around all day doing nothing but eat enormous amounts of food, yet never gain an ounce.

What typically happens however is the emergence of the proponents of “tough love”, who espouse the “deal with the abuse” attitude, as they believe it’s the fat person’s CHOICE to be fat, and that by verbally abusing and bullying them, fat people will somehow see the light. “Oh my GOD! I don’t want to take all of this abuse from these people, I’d better start eating less and exercising more NOW, so I don’t have to deal with all of this again!”

It’s generally based on prejudices that are founded in ignorance about fat and obesity. Now, while I have patience for many things, I have none for people who wallow in their ignorance.

One of the respondents to this article had the following to say:

Fat kids have been getting made fun of since FOREVER! Fat kids will continue to get made fun of for eternity. When I was a kid I was made fun of constantly because of my allergies, asthma, and a lot of other things. I whole heartedly believe it gave me character. Let me guess, someone will say it’s different making fun of fat kids. How? Certain things are just off limits, and to who?! A few nanny do-gooders flap their useless gums enough and they get results. There was an article about fat (I love not being PC, hehe) people a couple days ago and I commented on that one too. This is vaguely what I said. Nobody has any sympathy for smokers or drunks right? If you don’t want to be a smoker anymore than stop smoking. If you don’t want to be a drunk anymore than stop drinking. If you don’t want to be fat anymore than STOP EATING! You eat a big bowl of Rasin Bran in the mourning, then you suffer all day and eat like a bird for dinner. Of course someone said — smoking and drinking won’t kill you if you quit. You have to eat to live dummy! Well let me repeat myself… EAT a big bowl of hearty cereal in the mourning, then don’t eat allllllll day, then EAT like a bird for dinner. Nobody has any sympathy for smokers or drunks. Then why should a whale of a person be any different?

Now, I love the fact that this sphincter thinks that by calling fat people fat, he’s not being PC, like he’s a hipster who’s “telling it like it is”. Here’s the response that I posted to his version of tough love:

I love it when people assume that because they pulled through youth relatively undamaged, the rest of the world will be fine. Let me clue you in, genius……it’s never right. Murder has been going on for eternity as well……it doesn’t make murder right.

Let me answer the question at the front end. I didn’t grow up with people making fun of me, leaving emotional scars and now I’m butt hurt over it, which is why I’m posting here. I AM posting because I’m one of the people in the world who feels that all people should be treated with respect. Can you understand that concept, or are you one of the people who looks at people with AIDS and says you can’t feel for them because they brought it on themselves?

You want to sit 100 fat people down, feed them a big bowl of raisin bran in the morning, make them eat like a bird for dinner? Guess what? More than half of them remain fat, WHY? Hey, glad you asked……….start with genetics. Some people are predisposed to be thin, others fat. Do you tell the skinny people to start eating so they look more like you? Let’s now go to people who have to take prescription medications where the side effect is weight gain. Oh yes, that’s only 1% of the population, right? WRONG.

How about people who were never taught healthy eating habits growing up like I’m assuming you were? So, you think that by “shaming” them, they’ll somehow get that “tough love” of yours? It never works, and only makes you look like the hater that you are. See, you cannot look at a fat person, and figure out why they’re fat. So, dismissing a fat person as just someone who sits around all day eating BonBons says more about you than it does about them. By the way, the fat people I know KNOW they are fat, so they aren’t offended by the word, despite your thinking that it should.

As I said in a previous post, I’m not fat, so this isn’t someone who’s trying to defend who they are. It’s someone who sees ignorance, and likes to hold the mirror up. How’s it look to you, because it looks pretty damn ugly to me. I’m tired of idiots who use every news story about obesity as an opportunity to use their version of “tough love” as a motivator to lose weight. If it worked, don’t you think obesity would be a non issue in the U.S.??

Here’s my advice to you, start reading, and don’t write anything until you actually have knowledge on any particular subject.

It still amazes me that there are people in our world who still think like he does……oh wait, there will always be a MeMe Roth, and I suppose that means she’ll always have followers.

And I will always be there to call bullshit on you, and defy you to show me I’m wrong.


3 thoughts on “Concern Trolling, Tough Love, And Ignorance.

  1. As always Phil, a great reply to the ignorant. Unfortunately I feel your words fall upon deaf ears as we can’t change their stubborn, jaded opinions.
    We need to get you somewhere where you can speak out to the masses!!

  2. Love your reply! I applaud your wise return! So glad your marvelous mind is on our side *maniacal laugh*… Seriously you are right EVERYONE deserves respect and to be treated like a human being! This person really deserved that straight up reality check you laid on them. I hope it makes that person stop and think about it but I doubt he/she will even have the intelligence to stop and consider how he just may be wrong.. If only everyone could have more empathy and the heart to stop and consider the other persons side of things I truly believe it would make for a beautiful and more peaceful world.

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