1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3. Psychology . any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
This past week, a documentary aired in the United Kingdom’s Channel 4 called “My Big Fat Fetish”. According to Channel 4:
Many people try to lose weight; My Big Fat Fetish is about big women who are happy with their weight and some who want to get even fatter.
Magazines and online websites featuring big beautiful women – also known as gainers – have become more and more popular. These women love their fat bodies and there are millions of men around the world who admire them and are willing to pay to watch them eat online.
My Big Fat Fetish follows the lives of four big models in the USA and UK, intimately exploring the relationship these women have with their food and bodies, and also with their fans, and revealing what motivates them to this sexual lifestyle.
Kitt is 21 years old and weighs 20 stone. Growing up, she was a tomboy and felt sexless but she always admired big fat women. Kitt works as a dental assistant and also models in magazines under the name ‘Stuffing Kitt’ and posts videos online to subscription websites, where men pay to watch her eating.
Kitt’s boyfriend Wes also gains sexual pleasure from her gaining weight. He regularly feeds her and rubs her belly and although Kitt admits gaining isn’t normal, she believes it’s better to live out her sexual drive than to repress it.
Reenaye used to be a gainer but once she reached 29 stone she decided to stop and work to maintain this weight instead. After eight years as a model she now runs a gaining website and recruits women to model online.
One of Reenaye’s models is Lizzie from Leeds, who weighs 18 stone. Lizzie is a bubbly blonde just starting out on her modelling career; she goes to Florida to take part in her first photo shoot and video for Reenaye’s website.
Goddess Patty used to be the queen of the gaining world, weighing 44 stone. She is now too heavy to walk unaided and lives as a semi-invalid; she’s virtually immobile and requires 24/7 care from her son.
Patty still performs ‘squashings’ for paying punters, where she sits and bounces on them.
My Big Fat Fetish examines where this lifestyle started, what makes it so popular and why thousands of fans are willing to pay money to watch women ‘gaining’ online.
I took opportunity to watch the show (though it cannot be watched in the US but was available via download), and to me the focus seemed to exploit the commercial aspects of gaining and feederism, the two fetishes in the fat community that are also the most polarizing. If you’re a regular reader of my blogs, you should know my stance on BBW porn, and how it affects the fat community, particularly the new people coming into it. If you are involved in either NAAFA or size acceptance, you also are likely aware of their stance on the fetish known as gaining.
Fer me personally, there is a big difference between using food in sex, which is an important part of the feeder/feedee lifestyle, and what many perceive as true feederism, which involves significant amounts of weight. In some cases (and the documentary makes it clear), some look for immobility in their mates.
The documentary takes a look at several webmodels and a few webmasters, who in my eyes, prefer to not only want ot exploit fetishes, but sensationalize them to the point where these documentaries become commercials for their websites. Does that kind of marketing work? Well, here’s a quote from one of the viewers, who posted the following on a forum “dedicated” to BBWs and FAs:
I thought you looked incredible Reenaye (one of the show’s models), when you made that pose and wobbled your amazing bellies like crazy I couldnt contain myself! Its fair to say I had a good time before I feel asleep last night if you know what I mean.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, YEAH, I know what you mean.
The documentary closes with a woman named Patty Perez, aka Goddess Patty. Patty has been involved with the fetish community for some time now. During that time, she’s gained a significant amount of weight, courtesy of the many fans who’d like to see her to continue to grow to immobility. At the end, a tearful Patty says that if she could turn back time, she would not have gotten involved in the lifestyle.
As usual, the mea culpas have started. One of the models is quoted as saying the following:
I did my best, and I can say it was not my intention to represent the community, just to represent myself.”
Really? So, does the casual viewer who sees this think this is ONLY about you, and not the other women on the show? Does he/she walk down the street not thinking about other fat men/women based on what they saw, wondering to themselves if that person they just passed engaged in funnel feeding?
Said by another person who appeared on the show about Goddess Patty:
And her life seems hard, but I just wish she had held her breakdown until the cameras were gone… Just lets all the haters believe that we’re all sad deep down inside.”
Soooooooooo, YOU wanted her to lie? Those were her emotions. You want to have her hold them back so that you or the people involved in the fetish can go on without being looked at as somehow abberrant? Sorry she didn’t go with the program for you, but the people who felt Patty’s pain at the end are likely NOT going to plunk down the $19.95 a month to punch the clown while watching those girls get fatter. If anything, they will sit in amazement, wondering when these young ladies (most in their twenties) will be echoing my friend Patty’s words when they reach her age and weight. I hope these girls can see the senselessness in this.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the fantasy of weight gain, but I also love the fantasy of movies like District 9. And, just like I wouldn’t want a real world to consist of sharing my space with walking prawns (aliens), I don’t want a real world of people who I love and care about become immobile and alone in real life so that some slug could lose a few sperm cells while getting squashed.
DON’T THINK THAT WHAT YOU’RE DOING HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH SIZE ACCEPTANCE, EVER. You’re simply glorifying a fetish for commercial gain, and when it gets out of hand, don’t come to me to tell me I’m right.
I already know.
**UPDATE 5/27/12** Supporting my point that people outside of the fat community do not understand the dynamics of the fat fetishist, the following appeared on the British website Sunday Mercury:
HFOR once, the prefix My Big Fat… actually made sense – at least a lot more sense than in the case of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.
Just like the Channel 4 series on travellers, the documentary My Big Fat Fetish showed us jaw-dropping things – but failed to delve very deeply or ask the questions we wanted answered.
It featured several huge women who claimed to love being so fat. They deliberately put on weight to satisfy the weird fetishes of their partners and online fans, who watch them eat and touch themselves.
In the week when a 60 stone Welsh teenager had to be cut free from her home, the filmmakers failed to examine the health implications of being so obese. Surely they should have pointed out to the men that they were, in fact, killing these women.