[fet-ish, fee-tish]
1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3. Psychology . any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

This past week, a documentary aired in the United Kingdom’s Channel 4 called “My Big Fat Fetish”. According to Channel 4:

Many people try to lose weight; My Big Fat Fetish is about big women who are happy with their weight and some who want to get even fatter.

Magazines and online websites featuring big beautiful women – also known as gainers – have become more and more popular. These women love their fat bodies and there are millions of men around the world who admire them and are willing to pay to watch them eat online.

My Big Fat Fetish follows the lives of four big models in the USA and UK, intimately exploring the relationship these women have with their food and bodies, and also with their fans, and revealing what motivates them to this sexual lifestyle.

Kitt is 21 years old and weighs 20 stone. Growing up, she was a tomboy and felt sexless but she always admired big fat women. Kitt works as a dental assistant and also models in magazines under the name ‘Stuffing Kitt’ and posts videos online to subscription websites, where men pay to watch her eating.

Kitt’s boyfriend Wes also gains sexual pleasure from her gaining weight. He regularly feeds her and rubs her belly and although Kitt admits gaining isn’t normal, she believes it’s better to live out her sexual drive than to repress it.

Reenaye used to be a gainer but once she reached 29 stone she decided to stop and work to maintain this weight instead. After eight years as a model she now runs a gaining website and recruits women to model online.

One of Reenaye’s models is Lizzie from Leeds, who weighs 18 stone. Lizzie is a bubbly blonde just starting out on her modelling career; she goes to Florida to take part in her first photo shoot and video for Reenaye’s website.

Goddess Patty used to be the queen of the gaining world, weighing 44 stone. She is now too heavy to walk unaided and lives as a semi-invalid; she’s virtually immobile and requires 24/7 care from her son.

Patty still performs ‘squashings’ for paying punters, where she sits and bounces on them.

My Big Fat Fetish examines where this lifestyle started, what makes it so popular and why thousands of fans are willing to pay money to watch women ‘gaining’ online.

I took opportunity to watch the show (though it cannot be watched in the US but was available via download), and to me the focus seemed to exploit the commercial aspects of gaining and feederism, the two fetishes in the fat community that are also the most polarizing. If you’re a regular reader of my blogs, you should know my stance on BBW porn, and how it affects the fat community, particularly the new people coming into it. If you are involved in either NAAFA or size acceptance, you also are likely aware of their stance on the fetish known as gaining.

Fer me personally, there is a big difference between using food in sex, which is an important part of the feeder/feedee lifestyle, and what many perceive as true feederism, which involves significant amounts of weight. In some cases (and the documentary makes it clear), some look for immobility in their mates.

The documentary takes a look at several webmodels and a few webmasters, who in my eyes, prefer to not only want ot exploit fetishes, but sensationalize them to the point where these documentaries become commercials for their websites. Does that kind of marketing work? Well, here’s a quote from one of the viewers, who posted the following on a forum “dedicated” to BBWs and FAs:

I thought you looked incredible Reenaye (one of the show’s models), when you made that pose and wobbled your amazing bellies like crazy I couldnt contain myself! Its fair to say I had a good time before I feel asleep last night if you know what I mean.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, YEAH, I know what you mean.

The documentary closes with a woman named Patty Perez, aka Goddess Patty. Patty has been involved with the fetish community for some time now. During that time, she’s gained a significant amount of weight, courtesy of the many fans who’d like to see her to continue to grow to immobility. At the end, a tearful Patty says that if she could turn back time, she would not have gotten involved in the lifestyle.

As usual, the mea culpas have started. One of the models is quoted as saying the following:

I did my best, and I can say it was not my intention to represent the community, just to represent myself.”

Really? So, does the casual viewer who sees this think this is ONLY about you, and not the other women on the show? Does he/she walk down the street not thinking about other fat men/women based on what they saw, wondering to themselves if that person they just passed engaged in funnel feeding?

Said by another person who appeared on the show about Goddess Patty:

And her life seems hard, but I just wish she had held her breakdown until the cameras were gone… Just lets all the haters believe that we’re all sad deep down inside.”

Soooooooooo, YOU wanted her to lie? Those were her emotions. You want to have her hold them back so that you or the people involved in the fetish can go on without being looked at as somehow abberrant? Sorry she didn’t go with the program for you, but the people who felt Patty’s pain at the end are likely NOT going to plunk down the $19.95 a month to punch the clown while watching those girls get fatter. If anything, they will sit in amazement, wondering when these young ladies (most in their twenties) will be echoing my friend Patty’s words when they reach her age and weight. I hope these girls can see the senselessness in this.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fantasy of weight gain, but I also love the fantasy of movies like District 9. And, just like I wouldn’t want a real world to consist of sharing my space with walking prawns (aliens), I don’t want a real world of people who I love and care about become immobile and alone in real life so that some slug could lose a few sperm cells while getting squashed.

DON’T THINK THAT WHAT YOU’RE DOING HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH SIZE ACCEPTANCE, EVER. You’re simply glorifying a fetish for commercial gain, and when it gets out of hand, don’t come to me to tell me I’m right.

I already know.

**UPDATE 5/27/12** Supporting my point that people outside of the fat community do not understand the dynamics of the fat fetishist, the following appeared on the British website Sunday Mercury:

HFOR once, the prefix My Big Fat… actually made sense – at least a lot more sense than in the case of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

Just like the Channel 4 series on travellers, the documentary My Big Fat Fetish showed us jaw-dropping things – but failed to delve very deeply or ask the questions we wanted answered.

It featured several huge women who claimed to love being so fat. They deliberately put on weight to satisfy the weird fetishes of their partners and online fans, who watch them eat and touch themselves.

In the week when a 60 stone Welsh teenager had to be cut free from her home, the filmmakers failed to examine the health implications of being so obese. Surely they should have pointed out to the men that they were, in fact, killing these women.


9 thoughts on “My BIG, FAT, RAMMED DOWN YOUR THROAT Fetish

  1. Phil, I like you and I respect you. But you’re way off base here. First off, nobody is equating fetishism with SA, so it makes no sense to continue to point that out. I can say quite honestly that every time I have an orgasm I’m not going to spend equal time lobbying against size discrimination. Feederism is a sexuality, SA is a civil rights movement. Not one participant said anything about size acceptance.

    So some guy admits he ‘had a good time’ looking at Reenaye. For fucks sake Phil, she’s an adult entertainer. If men didn’t masturbate to her she’d be out of a job. People masturbate. Everyone does and everyone does it by “using” various fantasies and scenarios. Everyone.

    As far as the woman who said she’s not representing the community, that is true. Her life is her own and her story is her own. What if some trade association got mad at you for having this blog for fear of the general public thinking all tile salesmen were into fat women? Do you see it’s just that silly? I highly highly doubt the general public is aware enough of funnel feeding to even think about it. Hey I have a partner who I have funnel fed and who has gained weight and I don’t think he’s ever worried for a single second that anyone thinks his weight gain is related to anything beyond too many trips to high end steakhouses and a fondness for Toll House cookies.

    And let’s say somebody even cares enough to consider how somebody got fat. So the fuck what? Who cares.

    As far as others going as far as Patty, that’s just plain wrong. Reenaye has openly said she’s not gaining anymore. Kit has similarly said she doesn’t plan to do what Patty has done. You really really need to take into account that a lot of these women get involved with this because they’re into the fetish and into the lifestyle. Kit has said she didn’t even want to discuss her paysite work at all because she wanted to focus just on her sexuality.

    And Phil this is a sexuality. It’s what gets people off. In this particular case it can become public if actual gaining is involved (and it isn’t always) but at the end of the day it’s sexuality and it’s private. What I get off to shouldn’t matter to you. It’s ironic that you worry so much about others being preachy and judgemental towards fat people and you’re being ridiculously preachy and judgemental towards adults practicing their sexuality. I’ve read your whole blog Phil. Didn’t you write about cooking heavy meals for your girlfriend while you ate macrobiotic and vegetarian? And you enjoyed it. You enjoyed your partner’s weight gain. The only thing missing from your scenario
    e was a camera and a paypal right? But see I won’t do that because that’s your choice to cook and her choice to eat. Since I’m being fair I won’t even judge you for getting turned on by her gaining.

  2. And one more thing, it’s not being rammed down anyone’s throat. You chose to watch the show just like everyone else. Don’t like it don’t look. Easy.

  3. I’m sure if I knew who you were, I’d like and respect you as well.

    While *you* may not equate fetishism with size acceptance, the fact remains that both you and I are entrenched in the fat community, and our views are somewhat skewed as to what is equated with what.

    My point was that people who don’t understand the fat community still equate the simple idea of being attracted to a fat person as a fetish in and of itself. If you think that’s an exaggeration, then you are underestimating the people outside the fat community. So, while one of the subjects claims that she represents no one but herself, that’s cool if it makes her feel better, but the fact remains that she gets the title of repping for the community by default. She’s fat, she’s in the media, she’s repping, like it or not. Your analogy of me repping for all salesmen doesn’t hold water simply because when someone looks at me, they can’t tell what my occupation is. When they look at a fat person, well, you can’t hide what they are.

    People who watch the documentary aren’t going to immediately connect the dots and go from those girls to “all fat people are this way”. What I think happens, however, is that after seeing exploitative shows like Dr. Oz or any others that parade fat people around like a freak show is that a pattern emerges for the person who watches them that based on the media portrayal that all fat people must be like that.

    I also think you proved my point in your comment. You said that this sexuality is private (and I happen to agree), yet people continue to hit the media to flaunt it, and you’ve defended them. Which way do you want it? You yourself alluded to the private funnel feeding sessions with your partner. I think that’s great, but I don’t see you OR your partner going on TV to relate your funnel feeding stories. I’m not sure where you get the idea that I’d prefer that people deny their sexuality (I certainly don’t, so why would I want to do that to anyone else?), but as you said yourself, it should be private. So, when people head to the media to tell the world what they’re into, they put themselves in a position to be judged for their actions, which I do in my blogs, and which you do when you judge me based on what I write, and we should all be good with that. I know I am.

    1. Most people are private about their sexuality. Even the normals. Not a single one of my coworkers rolls into work and tells me what position he and his wife used the night before. But if people choose to be open and celebrate themselves, they should have the right to do so without getting flack from a man who enjoyed watching his girlfriend outgrow her clothes. Feeders don’t have to be quiet just so the other fatties and FA won’t suffer a public relations hit. Go tell the swishy gays to not sashay down Fifth Avenue in a leather jockstrap because homophobes already think that’s how they “all are.”

      And I’ve said this before but do you honestly think that the general population will ever believe that fat people want to be fat? Isn’t the SA world always talking about the evil money grubbing diet industry? If most people think fat is awful, and they do, the existence of a few open funnel feeders and feedees isn’t going to change it.

      1. If you’ve read my blogs as you say you have, then you should know the story behind the movie “Cruising” with Al Pacino. The gay community did everything they could to stop the production and release of the movie because it painted a side of homosexuality that they felt the rest of the world was not yet ready for. So yes, that is EXACTLY what I’m saying…….for the sake of the majority of the other fatties and admirers can the minority just shut the hell up for a little while?

        You said:
        “do you honestly think that the general population will ever believe that fat people want to be fat? Isn’t the SA world always talking about the evil money grubbing diet industry? If most people think fat is awful, and they do, the existence of a few open funnel feeders and feedees isn’t going to change it.”

        That just screams that you don’t care about size acceptance, or you think the efforts are futile. That’s fine for you, but not for me. Where would racial equality be if the black community didn’t rally behind Jackie Robinson and Rosa Parks? Go back 70 years, and substitute Lil John for Jackie Robinson. How do you think that would have gone over back then?

        So when there was a discussion on the Dimensions forums several years ago about who should “speak” for the fat community, I didn’t see the names of anyone from feedism/weight gain mentioned, and I think that’s simply because they care only for the fetish, and not about SA because if they did care for SA, they’d understand the importance of silence about the fetish for the greater good. And that’s the point of the blog, really……

  4. And by the way, it wasn’t the show I was referring to as being rammed down my throat, I had to seek it out to view it. What I feel is being rammed down my throat is the incessant “Hey, look at me!” attitude about what even you admitted should be a private issue.
    You get an A for effort, though.

    1. If NAAFA is going to issue a statement opposing feederism then why should feeders worry over SA? They’re separate issues so let’s keep them separate. If SA is disrespecting peoples’ sexuality that’s fine, just don’t insist we “shut the hell up” about how you look.

      1. And this is why unlike all of the other equality struggles that have taken place over the past 100 years, size acceptance may not be advanced, simply because individuals put their own selfish needs over the betterment of everyone as a group. Nuff said…….

  5. There was another post made by *L*, but I’ve deleted it, as was more accusation, rather than topic oriented.
    I’m pretty specific in my “about” page that I typically don’t post comments (good or bad) on these blogs, as they often isolate a few words which get focused on out of context (“You said ABC….” when in fact I said A through Z and you ignored the rest).
    THAT is what goes on in forums, but not in my blogs. If you want to analyze any of my blogs, you’re more than welcome to do so on my facebook page, which I’ve invited many (who have taken me up on it). The challenge for some people is that they would have to expose their identities in doing so, and while it’s easy to critique from the comfort of anonymity, outing ones self requires a bit more bravery and self confidence.
    There’s no incrimination of the feeder lifestyle in the blog. I openly admit my intro to feederism & weight gain years ago. While I choose not to participate in the feeder lifestyle, I take no issue with those who do, provided there is a mutuality of interest. Mu issue isn’t with the act. Whoever actually takes the time to read the blog will understand the issue.

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