I spent part of this past weekend reading some of my old blogs that go back to November of 2010. I was at a crossroad in my life, and at the suggestion of my therapist, I began to blog as a way of organizing some of the many thoughts and feelings that I had at that time.
I shared some of my blogs with a few of my friends on Facebook, who encouraged me to 1. Write more, and 2. Show more people what I was writing about.
I began to post my blogs as status updates on Facebook. Some people didn’t like what I was saying, which I thought was great, since I felt a need to draw a line in the sand and express my true feelings about things going on in my life, the community that I ran with, and how their activities conflicted with my own core values. Several people started to engage me in dialogue to discuss my writing, and while we often disagreed, it made me appreciate the fact that people were also reading and thinking.
Some of the people who vehemently disagreed left the discussion, and did the dreaded “drop me as a friend” act on Facebook. I did my best to not focus on them, since it had become evident that they were offended by my writing because they were threatened by it. After all, I was attacking things that were important to them, and I suppose they needed to draw a line in the sand as well. I did my best to focus on the messages I’d receive after a new blog would come out, as it invited some discussion, mostly with my remaining friends who didn’t so much see this as an attack, but maybe an opportunity to educate me, or to learn something themselves.
It was never my intention to publicize these blogs. To this day, if you look at my blogs, you’ll see that I don’t use keywords or hastags to bring people to it via search engines.
So, imagine the expression on my face when a review of this past week’s site stats showed that I had more page views in the entire time that the site has been up. I’ve also noticed that the focus of the blogs have shifted somewhat in the past 6 months, with more emphasis on fat activism and size acceptance.
The one thing that’s come from my 15+ years around the fat community as that fat people are treated like shit, and it’s on a much grander scale now thanks to the internet. I’ve been blessed with some good friends from the fat community, with good romantic relationships as well (though I can say that not all of them were walks in the park, which was partly my fault too). I sort of feel like the guy who was invited to the beer party, drank all the beer, and was so grateful that he stayed after the party to help clean up.
There’s still shitty things that go on in the fat community that I feel are wrong, and I’m going to point those things out at times, just to expose some of the madness, but I’ve learned that in the grand scheme of things we’re no worse off as a community than the rest of the world. It just seems like it to me at times…..
I like fat activism and size acceptance. I like advocacy, and writing these blogs help contribute to that. And while I haven’t attended a fat social event since my failed picnic that got rained out last year and ended up at a local hotel, I do miss my friends. Of course, most of them know my address and phone number, and know where to find me.
Most important, if they can’t make it to my house, or call, they know they’ll find me here. And for that, I say thank you for hanging with me on this journey.