I read a blog the other day from a very nice woman who recently attended a bash in Cali. This woman is a “veteran” of bashes, having attended Vegas Bash over the years.
After a discussion of the weekend from her standpoint, both the good and bad (most of which centered around the DJs & parties), she closed her blog with the following comment:
Keep supporting legitimate Size Acceptance events in your area and don’t be afraid to travel.
When did bashes become size acceptance?
A quick definition of size acceptance (from Wikipedia):
The fat acceptance movement (also known as the size acceptance, fat liberation, fat activism, or fat power movement) is an effort to change societal attitudes towards fat, obese, and overweight people.
So, getting shit faced, fucking and gorging yourself with food to impress the opposite sex is going to change societal attitudes towards fat, obese, and overweight people? Shit, if I’d have knows that, I’d still be running the NJ BBW Bash.
I’m becoming increasingly disgusted with one of the two differing factions of the fat community. While I enjoy discussion and activism with the true size acceptance people, I am having a real problem with those who think that the socialization between ‘Bash BBWs and dudes who want to sex the fatties” is somehow size acceptance. Seriously folks, it just ain’t the same thing. Those who work diligently for size acceptance do so, and conduct themselves accordingly, doing all they can to break the generalizations that are held by much of the world about fat people.
The rest? Well………………………not so much.
Don’t get me wrong. While the socialization between everyone at the events may create a sense of community, it’s only a sense. One look at this bloggers blog about the weekend event would reflect the actual LACK of community among the attendees, in my opinion. Face it, anyone who’s ever attended a bash or dance has seen the cattiness, heard the whispered comments and gossip, and even seen physical altercation between people.
All in the name of size acceptance, right?
You want to get involved? Get blogging about size acceptance, not about after dance parties and such. Get involved in fat acceptance protests in your area. Join groups like Facebook’s “Rolls, Not Trolls” group, who scours the net for negative comments about fat people, and sets the record straight. See, those folks work hard to try to do what the gay community did back in the late 70’s to mid 80’s, which was to show that being gay was not a bad thing.
And while they chip away at the prejudices that exist about fat people, you’re at a bash drinking, sexxing, and doing things that continue to perpetuate the prejudices, and that just makes you part of the problem. Go to the bashes and dances, but GET INVOLVED……DO SOMETHING.
And for any dance or bash promoter who “tries” to pass off their event as about size acceptance, I’m watching you, just to make sure that bullshit doesn’t get out there…………..
April 3, 2012 update. I want to add a point here. First, let me say that by NO MEANS am I retracting anything that was said in this blog.
This particular blog was never meant to be a general incrimination of ALL BBW/FA events. When I partnered in the NJ Bash, we worked hard to give people who attended something concerning Size Acceptance that they could take with them to the “outside world” after the event was over. What I LEARNED during my time there is that few people were actually interested in our efforts.
I will take all of the blame for what the NJ Bash turned into. My partner was adamant about keeping our event small and intimate, with the people that we knew and were comfortable with, who actually participated in SA, and used our event more for socialization, to see friends from other parts of the country who converged on NJ for two weekends a year. I WAS THE PERSON WHO WAS DUMB ENOUGH to believe that as it grew, those new masses of people who attended would care about SA. When I found that they were only interested in what benefitted THEM, it caused quite a struggle for me to continue on working for people that I didn’t like.
The original attendees of our events aren’t the subject of this blog. I remain friends with many of them, even though I no longer attend the NJ event.
What the blog WAS about was my feeling about blog hosts trying to pull the wool over people’s eyes, CLAIMING that these events are about size acceptance, when in fact they are not. If you’re about orgies, be honest enough to say so.