Why I Don’t Want To Be Called A FA – Version 4.0

This could become a weekly blog on its own.

I’ve been looking in at sites like Dimensions and others much less frequently these days. It’s certainly not because I’m no longer attracted to a softer body style. It’s simply because I’m tired of the insanity that is taking place on these forums and is considered normal by those who “contribute” on those sites.

Oh, I’m not just talking about the guys who are into the feeder lifestyle. I’m talking about how these sites are attempting to change what the “FA experience” is all about.

Those of you who have read my blog called The BBW = Porn Connection know that I am concerned over the continued attempts at marginalizing women by profiling all fat women as the same women they masturbate to on the paysites they frequent. As I’ve said in the past, I saw examples of this every time I attended a BBW dance or bash, including the ones I was involved with, and contributed to my exit from that business.

So, what has set me off again? A recent post in the Dimensions FA/FFA forum (which quite honestly doesn’t recognize the FFA in the grand scheme of things, it’s just them making a token attempt at being comprehensive). The post was an addition to a long running thread called “FA Myths”, which started as way to debunk some of the generalizations made about FAs. The most recent myth addressed was made by a young guy who has a whole lot more on the ball than many people there who are far older than he is. His myth?

“People are judged by the partner that they are with, so obviously it is harder on the FA than on their fat partner.”

Yeah, I’m attracted……..so what? What’s so hard about that? Is it harder than being gay? Bisexual? Transgendered? Gimmie a fucking break. It’s never felt “hard” (pardon the pun) to me to be honest and say I’m attracted to a body type that is large and soft. So yes, I agreed with the original poster. That however, isn’t what set me off. It was the comment made by the webmaster of that site that did. Here’s what he said:

“I’ve heard that one on and off, but it’s a comparing apples and oranges kind of question that really doesn’t have a reasonable answer.”

Yeah, I’ve heard it said on and off too, Chief. And you’re right, it IS like comparing apples and oranges. Unless you’re a fat FA or FFA, you will never understand the fat experience. Here’s where the web dude and I fundamentally disagree, that it doesn’t have a reasonable answer. That is a crock of shit, and yet another attempt by that website to rewrite the “FA Experience”. See you guys/gals that agree with him got it all wrong, because essentially you’re saying that because you have this preference that causes you to be judged by others, you’re doing your fat person a favor by being with them.

Here’s what you are missing. As a FA, you can choose to hide your preference like so many do, and avoid the judgment of the rest of the world, especially those who espouse fat hatred. Let me ask you geniuses this, can a fat person hide their fat from those same people? Do you really believe these lies, or do you think by repeating them over and over in different threads on the forum that they might someday be true?

See, I’ve been fortunate enough to have been involved with several fat women in my life, and have loved each romantically, and have felt their pain when nasty comments are made, or when they can’t eat at certain restaurants due to lack of armless chairs or banquette seating. Sure, I’ve loved on their chub. I even left a really good job due to fat hatred, but there’s no way in hell that my leaving a job was worse than telling the person that I was with that I was leaving the job because they were fat.

Here’s a little advice for you sheep……you know, the ones in the forums that jump to attention when the Chief speaks. When you little boys can look at this picture, and wonder what her face looks like, or what she thinks of Obamacare, or what her favorite fragrances are, or the movie or song she likes most…….ONLY THEN WILL YOU REALIZE THAT THE FA IS ONLY PART OF THE OVERALL EXPERIENCE. Grow the fuck up.


One thought on “Why I Don’t Want To Be Called A FA – Version 4.0

  1. Words of wisdom as usual Phil, I absolutely agree. Personally, I’m also utterly sick of all the whining about “how difficult it is being a ‘FA’ ” and all those other pointless discussions that take place on “The Chief’s” website. I’ve even gotten to the point where I no longer even use the term “FA” because the whole “admiration” aspect of that word has gotten so distorted on websites like that and others, I think the term has long lost it’s meaning. Besides, I also believe that attempting to create some unique category of men called “FA”s with some sort of unique set of circumstances will only delay the mainstreaming of fat / size acceptance in the long run.

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