So, one of my facebook friends was getting the “lecture” about calories, health, food intake, and the like from another well meaning “friend” who was attempting to use unfounded medical “truths” in an effort to get her to change her dietary habits. This is on the heels of the Paula Deen diabetes announcement, which has somehow been transferred to be a fat people issue, like Paula Deen is the second coming of the World’s Fattest Woman.
The guy was relentless on my friend, who she tried to excuse out by simply saying thanks for your concern, but I’m good. He refused to hear that, then jumped all over my girlfriend, who more than adequately took this idiot on to the point where he called her an enabler (we’re lucky enough to see this friend 3-4 times a year, so her enabling messages must be subliminal) and finally said “fuck you” to her. I responded to this guy, and after a couple of private messages from friends who enjoyed my response, urged me to blog it, so that others who experience this type of “concern trolling” that this clown took part in, would draw from my comments, and shut it down.
So, here you go……
While I admire your passion, I don’t like the fact that you told my girlfriend to go fuck herself. That’s no way to win any kind of argument, it just shows you have nothing left in terms of points to make. In other words, “fuck you” means you lost the debate.
I have many fat friends, some weight well over 400 lbs, and yet their blood sugar, blood pressure, lipds, and kidney functions all come back within tolerances. ***** weighs well below that threshold, but I’ll bet her numbers are similar.
Are there unhealthy fat people? Absolutely. Are there unhealthy people of average weight? Absolutely. I could go on and on telling you why your logic that somehow all fat people are jeapordizing their lives solely because of their weight, but I likely wouldn’t convince YOU, since you seem to be on a crusade to save your friend, and wouldn’t listen to scientific fact that fat in and of itself is not the underlying cause of so many things that most of the world “thinks” is fat related.
But for the sake of argument, let’s assume you are correct. Do you think that badgering someone about their weight is actually helpful? Did it ever occur to you that it does more harm than good?
Here’s the thing. We all have several things that contribute to our overall health. While part of it is diet and exercise, part of it is also genetics. I’ve generally been a healthy guy all of my life. Always ate a healthy diet (even went macrobiotic and vegetarian for several years), exercised regularly, and got more than adequate rest. Yet, I was diagnosed with lymphoma back in 1981, and just last year was hospitalized for a bilateral pulmonary embolism that almost killed me.
Was diet involved? NO
One word sir. GENETICS. I had a predisposition to clot, based on a test that revealed a clotting gene common to those of Mediterranean descent.
See, you can’t look at a fat person, and determine why they are fat. The world assumes that anyone who is above average in weight got there by poor diet and lack of exercise. I won’t excuse that ignorance. People take cortico steroids that cause weight gain. They take other drugs where weight gain is a side effect. Women get PCOS (look it up if you don’t know) and can gain weight, they can have hormonal imbalances that do the same.
Yeah, I know……the McDonalds aren’t going out of business. That’s likely your defense to this, but there are as many average and thin people at McD’s as there are fat ones. Later in life ALL of them will pay for eating so much processed food. God won’t just punish the fat ones………
So, let’s get back to your comments to *****. We all have our own religious, political, moral, and spiritual beliefs that are unique to us. That’s one of the reasons that people always suggest to keep these topics off the table. Again, assuming all that you say is correct about nutrition and health, IT’S HER BODY TO DO WITH WHAT SHE WANTS.
I love all of my friends as much as you do, and I want them to live a long time, hopefully long enough to attend MY funeral. That said, I would never shame a person for things that are unique to them.
I have friends that smoke (cigarettes, and weed), who drink heavily, or who engage in dangerous sex. They see warnings all over the media. Do they need to hear from me as well?
And that is the fundamental point. You are being judgemental, and underestimate your friend when you act as her “policeman”. She’s lived a long and productive life without your help, so what makes you think she’s going to be any better off with your advice.
And while I know you’ve apologized to my girl for your comments, I think you owe an apology to ***** as well. See, she was trying to be nice about this, as she didin’t want to cause a stir with her friend. I, on the other hand, am sick to death of the “food and exercise police” who think they’re being a friend by posting the things you said here. You may want to look up the definition of friendship in the dictionary, because it sure as hell doesn’t look like what you wrote here.