FA’s are generally shitty.
Don’t agree? Take a look in any BBW based forum, even the ones that claim to not center around dating, but are more social networks. Some of the threads I’ve seen about FA’s recently:
“Friend or Fuck Buddy?”
“Why Do Married Men Cheat?”
“Its things said like this that absolutely disgust me..”
“It is kind of creepy, but have you done it? ”
“Real Gainers vs. Deceptive Fantasizers”
“Effect of FA mindset on relationships & SA”
And the now famous “FA and fat people — the potential perfect match”
One only has to look over the names of these threads to know where they head, and it’s not good. It’s not a good mix to take discussion about how shitty most BBW’s are treated by the men who supposedly “admire” them, and the pressure from the rest of the world that fat women are somehow “substandard”. The results are not good, and yet it continues……the bad behavior of FA’s both online and in person at BBW events and dances.
I believe it creates situations that good guys within the community find almost impossible to overcome. Years ago, long before I married my second wife, I dated someone who no matter what I said or did with regard to the “relationship” we had, treated me almost contemptuously, questioning my motives. I figured after the time we had spent together (well over a year) she would have realized that I wasn’t there just to get laid, that I was there for the long term. Unfortunately for her (and for me in a sense, and I’ll explain why in a moment), she refused to buy in, since she had always been treated poorly by the men she “dated”, and couldn’t see the difference. She lost out on someone who grew up understanding love, and how love is expressed via relationships.
Why did I lose? Well, from experience (and it’s happened several times to me over the past 14 years as part of the community), it takes a lot out of me as well. It’s difficult to not harbor the same feelings towards women, after these relationships head south, and it’s taken time for me via therapy to ensure that I don’t bring that mistrust to MY relationships after these others end.
It’s like a virus, and I REFUSE to pass it on, so I do my best to quarantine and beat it, rather than infect someone else, and contribute to the epidemic.
I’ve had some fantastic women in my life over the years, don’t get me wrong. For you young, impressionable new guys coming into the community, take this as a recommendation. I didn’t get those women by being an asshole, they came into my life because I treated them all well, with the respect that someone cares for them deserves. I’m not the greatest guy in the world, but I’m by no means the worst. I consider myself the best of the worst, and perhaps if you other guys in the community who supposedly love fat women read this, you may also be fortunate enough to have a good woman in your life by doing the same thing.
Good luck trying, if you think you can change your spots.