A couple of days ago, I exchanged some messages with another person from the BBW/FA community, who again accused me of being bitter, and said “there’s already so much fucking drama and negativeness already in the bbw scene that they don’t think its needed.”
Some points of note with regard to being “bitter”. While my blogs are theraputic for me, they are also intended to put some ideas forth to a very fragmented community of people, in hopes that people will stop and see some of the same things that I do. The blogs are not meant to make me famous, while I don’t hide them, I don’t run all over the internet, or even outside the BBW/FA community screaming “HEY LOOK AT ME”. Personally, I’d rather not see anyone outside the “family” see some of the insanity that goes on in this very dysfunctional group of people that I’m part of. I feel that this large (in numbers) group of people needs some unification, so while what I write may seem divisive to some, I think those who feel that way may have something to lose if their feelings or actions were exposed by my writings.
A friend of mine has written a book about his experiences in the community over the years. If the book is successful, he’ll make money, and get his chance at fame as a result. My blogs are free, and while some of you may dislike what I’ve written as much as you may dislike his book when it’s published, we are both still entitled to our opinions of the goings on in the community.
I have NO bitterness about my 14 years attending events, posting in forums, and dating fat women. I made a conscious choice to be part of it. It’s a volunteer army – I’m in………I’m out. I’ve been hurt at times by people during my time, and I often feel that I’ve given far more to the community than I’ve ever gotten back, but the fact that I’m still here says that I’ve obviously gotten something back from it.
So, then why do I write blogs pointing out all of the negatives that I see?
I do it because I care.
I didn’t plan on writing blogs about BBWs and FAs when I first arrived in 1997. All I knew was that I’d been attracted to fat girls most of my life. It wasn’t until I began to date, and get married that I began to understand what fat people encountered on a daily basis. Yes, I was fat when I was younger, but I was also quite menacing looking, and I seriously doubt that anyone would have been brave enough to toss their fat hatred my way. It was primarily through my marriage that I came to know what a fat person really goes through, and even though my marriage is done, I still fight for fat rights, and to change the world’s perception of fat people.
SO my question is, does pointing out flaws to a group of people in an effort to improve that group amount to being negative?
Evidently for some it is. The person who told me my criticisms of the community also runs several businesses within it. I was told that they can detach from the daily insanity that goes on. I applaud that, but when “fat people business” is your primary source of income, it would be important to be able to separate your business from your real life. For me, running events and talking about fat issues was not profit oriented at all…….I was there because I cared, and still do.
Coming soon……………not everything here is negative!