Affairs of the heart……A Valentines Blog

“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.  ~Aerosmith”

I’m a romantic, always have been.  I know a lot of people dislike Valentines Day, for lots of reasons.  Some call it an invented holiday, but aren’t ALL holidays invented?

Yeah, there are another 364 days to show another person in your life how you feel about them, but isn’t it really cool to have ONE SPECIAL DAY to make that person feel extra special?  I have always wondered in every relationship I’ve been in if that other person knew EVERY day what they meant to me, and how important they were in my life.

So, this isn’t going to be a long read, just some observations about my own celebrations of Valentines Day over the past few years.

2 years ago, I celebrated it with my then wife, knowing full well that her “heart” was with someone else, and while we spent Valentines Day together, it was half hearted on her part, and the end result was that I felt worse, knowing what had taken place, and wondered why we even bothered to “celebrate” the day.  I loved her, thought I’d spend the rest of my life with her, but the old saying  “shit happens” happened.

Last year, I spent Valentines Day weekend with someone who in the end was unable or unwilling to be in a true relationship, and who hated Valentines Day.  I drove several hundred miles to be with her, only to find when I arrived at her duplex that her neighbors had decided to “rework” the plumbing system, which resulted in the toilet pipes bursting, and filling her bedroom with urine and “fecal juice”.  While my intention was to show her the value of celebrating love by going to dinner, spending quality time, and giving her what I consider the royal treatment, I ended up spending most of my time minimizing the damage, cleaning piss and shit from her floors & furniture, and ultimately taking most of her clothes to be laundered and cleaned (which I paid for, as part of my Valentines gift), and taking her away from the mess to dinner, and salvaging the best of the weekend, which for her was mostly a disaster.  I loved this woman, and did my best to show her what love looked like, but I still believe that it was a losing battle for me.  This left me broken, in therapy, and to this day I work to heal my heart.

So, fast forward to this year, and there’s a wonderful woman in my life, and I cannot wait to celebrate Valentines Day with someone who I feel understands fidelity, respect, and “gets” the concept of what Valentines Day is all about.  Better yet, I can use this day to show her how I feel, knowing it will be (since it already has been) reciprocated.  We have a fun weekend planned, part of which will take place in NYC, one of the most romantic places to be, if your heart’s in the right place.

And it’s kinda nice.  Thanks, honey…..and happy Valentines Day.



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